by Denise L Shaw
From my childhood I struggled with insecurity. Of course, I did not know what it was or understand it until I was well into high school. Even then, I only understood it simply enough to say that I had it. Most of my classmates thought me to be conceited, but it was really just me overcompensating for a deep-seated sense of inferiority. By the time I reached college, I had learned it was a problem and that it was likely something that I would need to manage for the rest of my life. I thought it was just a personality quirk and that nothing could be done about it. I would simply have to live with it. Over the years as an adult I had done a lot of self-examination and thought I knew what had caused it. Yet again there was nothing to be done about it except to manage it, at least so I thought.
By the time I was 34 years old I held a Bachelor of Science degree in business management and had also graduated from one of the most prestigious Bible schools in the world. I was married to a wonderful man of God with two beautiful little girls. We had successfully completed a decade of assignments working in supportive roles of ministry. I had personally assisted the leading prophet of the land with his correspondence. We were respected. We were successful, walking in the blessings of God. Now, it was time to embark upon full-time traveling ministry. We moved to our “promised land” to launch out into the deep.
After moving to our new home, we selected a church of like-precious faith. It would be our home base for ministry. We had not yet met the pastors, but knew it was the place the Lord had prepared for us. Our first service in that church brought about a permanent, yet unexpected change for me.
Upon arriving to the church that night, anxious to meet our new pastors, we were disappointed to learn they were on vacation. There was a guest-minister who would be speaking. I don’t remember what he preached. I can’t even remember his name. Yet, the altar call is forever emblazoned upon my conscience. After preaching his message, the speaker basically demanded every person in the building to come to the altar. I didn’t like it. He was too bossy and brash. He then began a long discourse about “snuggling up to Daddy God” and planting a “big ole, sloppy kiss on His face.”
By that point, I had become righteously indignant. How dare he refer to Father God as “Daddy”? How dare he belittle God to such a low estate? I was standing on the edge of angry wondering what in the world we had gotten ourselves into. He just kept it up. “Come on! Just crawl right up in His lap and plant a sloppy kiss on His cheek.” Fuming, I thought, “Why, I never! I never even did that with my own Dad. I would never dream of being so disrespectful to God.” In that moment, the Father stepped in and said, “That’s right, you didn’t. And you’ve been insecure all of your life because of it.”
This unexpected moment, this statement completely shocked me!
My earthly Dad was a great man and a good father, a hard-worker who provided well for his family. Yet, as the Lord pulled back the curtain, I saw myself standing at the backdoor of my childhood home waiting for Daddy to come home. His truck would pull into the drive. I would jump for joy, “Daddy’s home!” He’d walk in the door, pat me on the head and immediately move toward the basement to take off his work shoes. I remember regularly feeling disappointed: Daddy doesn’t want to play with me. Day after day, week after week, the pattern was set and the enemy of my soul was standing by to amplify my father’s exhaustion as rejection. I was the problem. Something must be wrong with me…
Back to the altar service, with such authority the Father said, “You’ve been insecure all your life because of it… I am going to deliver you from it this night. And you will never have to deal with it again!” Then He drew me close. I could hear His heart beating inside His chest. And, just like that (snap), a lifetime of unlovable disappeared. No more insecurity. No more rejection. It was all gone in a flash. And just as He promised, I have never had to deal with it again.
When I walked out of the service that night, I didn’t even think the same. My thought patterns were no longer filtered through a lifetime of hurt and rejection. I had had a dramatic encounter with the Lord. In the first moments after being set free, I remember being embarrassed to think of the many previous years of ugly, bad behavior. Fifteen years later sitting with a former co-worker over lunch, she marveled repeatedly about how much I had changed; you don’t even act like the same person. All I could say to her was, “I am not the same person,” “I have changed,” and “God did it.”
To this day I hardly ever speak of it because it was such a holy moment. Yet, the time has come.
Now here are some simple observations I would like to make:
What set the stage for such a dramatic deliverance? The pastor of the local church – the one we had never met – was in the habit of praying in this manner: He prayed for everyone in the church to have what he termed, love experiences with God.
A love experience with God is exactly what delivered and set me free from a lifetime of insecurity.
Now that’s what I call a deliverance ministry.
In June of 2008, the Word of the Lord came to the prophet (Dr. Billye Brim) saying, ONE THING will save America and it’s NOT the election. It’s an AWAKENING to GOD! ONE THING will save Israel, and it’s NOT the election. It’s an AWAKENING to GOD!
Since that time, MUCH prayer has been offered to this end – a GREAT AWAKENING. Everywhere we turn now there is talk of this – in the church and in the streets. So much prayer has been offered on this issue that it cannot “NOT” happen. It will surely come to pass. We should all understand that America is about experience the greatest awakening it has ever seen. But it is not just an awakening. It is must be an awakening to GOD.
In July of this year, the Word of the Lord came unto me, saying, “They are awake! Now they will listen. They are taking off their night clothes and putting on their day clothes.”
Romans 13:11-12 - And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
Over the years much has been said by many great men and women of God about a great awakening in America. And it is true. But IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE AWAKE. It must be an AWAKENING TO GOD.
Throughout the Age of Grace, believers have been tasked with prayer for laborers into the harvest (Matthew 9:37-38). This we must still do, but now is not the time to simply pray. NOW IS THE TIME TO ACT. Every believer must fill his mouth with prayer, yes, not just for laborers into the harvest. We must also, with every breath we breathe, declare, “HERE AM I LORD, SEND ME!”
They are awake! Now, they’ll listen! They will listen! They will listen!
And the Lord would say unto you, “Who will declare? Who will declare? Who will declare Me before men?”
Does it not say in My Word: For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. How then shall they call on him in whom they have now believed? And how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent?... (Roman 10:13-15a)?
Isaiah 60:1-5 - Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising. Lift up thine eyes round about, and see: all they gather themselves together, they come to thee: thy sons shall come from far, and thy daughters shall be nursed at thy side. Then thou shalt see, and flow together, and thine heart shall fear, and be enlarged; because the abundance of the sea shall be converted unto thee, the forces of the Gentiles shall come unto thee.
They are awake. Now they will listen. ~ Here am I, Lord. Send me!
~ Denise L Shaw
September 25, 2020
Fear came creeping into my house last night
He thought he’d step in to see if I’d put up a fight
But an angel from the Lord stood by, and that was the end of that.
Not so much as a cold chill; no need for a scarf or hat.
We must always be sensitive to God’s holy touch
And never give place to doubt
I’m so glad I know Him and His ways
His victory is my victory; makes we want to shout
These are extraordinary days
A gateway to greater things
As we wait impatiently in our homes
Soon we’ll mount up on eagles’ wings
It’s important to take time to rest
To linger in His presence and His word
Running with the glory is next
Eye has not seen nor has ear ever heard
I’m overwhelmed at His goodness
His joy is the light of my soul
To put on Christ and His anointing
Is the mantle that makes us bold
I’m a new creation, re-created in Him
Greater is He that is in Me
Greater is He that is my closest and dearest friend.
It’s no longer I that lives
But the greater one has overtaken that which once was me
He has made all things better; His love has set me free
It’s a new day
Now rejoice and be glad regardless of what you see.
It’s a new day
From now on, we’ll all need to stay on bended knee.
It’s a new day
From the winter to the spring we pass
It’s a new day
The day we all long to see is upon us at last.
It’s a new day
Corona is finished and done
It’s a new day
Time for the One and only Son
It’s a new day
Soon to be followed by a season of harvest
It’s a new day
No time to waste, His glory will not be harnessed
Now is the time for the precious fruit
A season for which we have long waited
The time of preparation is over
No more delays; no more hesitation
The Lord asked me one day, "What if?" and then He took me to a familiar passage of Scripture and re-scripted it for me:
So, I believe the bigger question is this: What are we going to do about it?